


damsel in distress

by ralf



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec is afraid of spiders, Domestic, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-04
Updated: 2019-05-04
Packaged: 2020-02-21 15:24:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18705046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ralf/pseuds/ralf
Summary: Alec breaks off with a shriek and stumbles back three steps. Magnus whirls around, magic ready at the tips of his fingers, but there's nothing there. He frowns and wants to take a closer look but Alec's arm appears around his waist like a vice and holds him in place.“Don't get any closer,” Alec rasps and before Magnus's confusion takes over completely he points his free arm over Magnus's shoulder at a speck on the wall. “Spider.”





	damsel in distress

**Author's Note:**

> @ Title: Sorry Alec hahahah I couldn't resist.  
> First and last vent fic (and probably most pointless thing) I've ever written. I didn't even plan to post anything this week but I needed to work through the trauma I acquired yesterday, so. Btw me writing this fic from the POV of the character _not_ afraid of spiders is an act of both hypocrisy and self-preservation.

“I'm just saying,” Alec concludes, closing the door of the loft behind them while Magnus kicks off his boots, “we already ordered chinese takeout two days ago. I would be more balanced--”

Magnus snorts in amusement and raises his eyebrow at Alec. “You really want to reinforce your takeout choice with a _balanced nutrition_ argument? Try again, Alexander.”

Alec pouts and walks over to Magnus to smooth his hand over Magnus's shoulder in a very cheap attempt at manipulation. “Look. Pizza has the very obvious benefit of--”

Magnus never learns what Pizza's very obvious benefit is because Alec breaks off with a shriek and stumbles back three steps. Magnus whirls around, magic ready at the tips of his fingers, but there's nothing there. He frowns and wants to take a closer look but Alec's arm appears around his waist like a vice and holds him in place.

“Don't get any closer,” Alec rasps and before Magnus's confusion takes over completely he points his free arm over Magnus's shoulder at a speck on the wall. “Spider.”

Magnus blinks because that dark fleck is so far away from them it didn't even register in his perception.

“Okay,” he says. Before he can snap his fingers and remove the spider from the premises, it moves one of its many legs and Alec jerks violently behind him. Magnus belatedly realizes Alec isn't just keeping him from walking into “danger” with his grip but is also misusing him as a protective shield.

“It's moving Magnus, why is it moving?” Alec frantically whispers into his ear.

“My guess would be that's because it's alive,” Magnus offers. Alec isn't very appreciative of his insight if the way he squeezes Magnus's middle is any indication.

“Why is it _alive_ ,” Alec enunciate emphatically. “I want it _dead_.”

Magnus frowns because he distinctly remembers Alec's resentment towards murder when they had The Spider Talk. But he's adaptable. “You want me to kill it?” he asks.

“No,” Alec refuses immediately and honest to God _whimpers_ when the spider takes a few steps on the wall.

Magnus lays his hand over Alec's that's currently digging into his stomach. “Just go and let me take care of it.”

“And leave you alone with that _monster?_ No way.”

Magnus bites his lip to keep from laughing. “Well in that case let me...” He starts to raise his arm again but Alec detects his movement and intensifies his strangle hold to a death grip. Apparently he thinks Magnus wants to pry the spider off the wall with his bare hands. It seems his usually so level-headed tactician lost all capacity for rational thought in the face of the spider's ruthless terror reign over their loft.

The spider shifts on the wall.

“I think it's going to jump. We should take cover.”

“Alec, it's a house spider, it can't jump.”

The spider adjusts its hind legs.

“I really think it's going to jump.”

“That's not pos--”

The spider jumps.

Alec _screams_ , right into Magnus's ear, in a way that would probably leave him with permanently impaired hearing if magical healing wasn't a thing.

The spider, now happily relocated one inch to the left, crawls along the wall some more.

“Please, Magnus, _do something_.”

Magnus heroically refrains from pointing out that he would have done something about the spider ten seconds into their debacle if Alec had _let_ him, and snaps his fingers. The spider vanishes.

Alec's arm falls away from around Magnus and he tumbles to the nearest couch. Crashing into the cushions he presses a hand over his heart, visibly catching his breath.

“I'm not built for this kind of stress,” he laments, head falling against the back of the couch, the very picture of exhaustion.

Magnus walks over and perches on the armrest. “You're a shadowhunter, you were _literally_ created to kill demons.”

Alec scoffs. “Yes. _Demons_. Not _spiders_.”

“So spiders are the greater evil?” Magnus inquires idly.

Alec lifts his head to stare at him intently. _“Yes.”_

“Hm.” Magnus slides down the armrest so he lands sideways in Alec's lap. “Then I guess a reward for the savior is in order, don't you agree?”

Alec drapes his arm around Magnus's back and pulls him closer to his chest. “Anything you want.”

“I was hoping you'd say that,” Magnus teases, planting his hand on Alec's chest suggestively.

Interest sparks in Alec's eyes and Magnus can't hold back the smirk any longer as he leans in and whispers, “Chinese takeout.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Originally I planned for Alec to say the spider spoiled his appetite which would prompt Magnus to conjure an image of chibi style Alec running away panic-stricken from an oversized evil chibi spider which would lead to Magnus laughing his ass off and Alec begrudgingly being cheered up. But I think this less cracky version I went with works better XD
> 
> [The Spider Talk fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16578269)


End file.
